Rosetta Stone

Friday, June 17, 2005

Thank God it's Friday (part two)

As I started listening to the Imam’s speech... the first half of the speech was about menstrual cycle!. Yes, the mosque didn’t even have a women’s section... and this guy was talking to a bunch of packed up sweaty men about having the period. At this point I really wanted to start a new trend in mosques and raise my hand and say “Sir, can we please change the subject?”, but I didn’t because he wouldn’t appreciate it. So, I heard everything I didn’t want to know about the menstrual cycle and how it’s okay for women not to fast during the menstruation days and how the man shouldn’t have an intercourse with his wife during the menstruation days (duh) and stuff like that. I swear thought the next he’s going to do is to take out a pack of tampons and a pack “Always” from under his Galabeya and start explaining them us. Finally, we raised our hands in the air to start doa’a (a form of praying) marking the end of the first half of the speech. I don’t have to tell you that my whole doa’a was focused on that the Imam would change the subject of the speech in the second half. My prayers came true and the Imam took a surprising turn from menstrual cycles to mainstream politics.

He preached about the values of respecting the leadership of the nation (O-kay!!) then he went through quick review about the mainstream events in Iraq… how the American occupation is causing destruction and the main factor in the increase of terrorism (cool now we’re talking) but only for a couple of minutes then he drifted back to the leadership of the nation. He became more obvious in his words as he said “The country is united under one leadership of the wise president Mubarak” and then he said something like “The enemies of our country are waiting for us to slip that’s why we must clinch to the experienced leadership of Mubarak”, I was like oh god he got to you too Sheikh… and I wanted to shout “you lost me here Shiekh, back to the menstrual cycle please”. But he continued with his praise Mubarak speech.

And all of a sudden a very old guy who is right behind me, jumped up and started screaming painfully “ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH”… oh my god what’s happening to this guy I’ve never seen such a thing, his eyes are rolled behind like that girl in the Exorcist. Of course the speech was interrupted and the Imam asked the guys beside him to sit him down, so they did and a man started whispering “Allahu Akbar” in his ears and he started to calm down and return to his normal mood. He really scared the shit out of me seriously, he jumped up and started screaming in my ears... and I almost jumped over the lap of the guy next to me. But I guess it’s a normal behavior when you hear a lot of Mubarak praise at this age.

The speech was about to be wrapped up and then the guy reminded us to pray for all the women who were abused and killed in Iraq and Palestine on the hands of the occupation. But it’s very sad that he missed out the women in Egypt abused by the NDP thugs… you know why he missed them out because he’s a f……. hypocrite. Finally, the speech was over and we started the second do3a2 we raised our hands in the air… the imam kept saying stuff like “O God bless our Ummah” and we reply back by saying “Amen” and finally he reached where he said “O God bless our beloved leader Mubarak and save him for us” and I was “Ame--- save him for us but for how long?” and that’s when I pulled my hands down, oh no I’m not praying for that. Don’t be surprised by the Imam behavior as it is a normal pattern to the clerics since every Friday the Grand Shiekh of Al-Azhar dedicates a portion his speech and his doa’a to our beloved President Hosny Mubarak.
The Friday prayer started. We prayed and went home after swearing that I’m never gonna pray with my friend again.

Posted by MG :: 12:08 PM ::